The Curious Case of the Avengers Turned Small
by ImaginaryParchment
Summary: In which Loki turns the Avengers into little kids (and in the process, himself) and Clint, the only Avenger spared, is assigned to babysit them. Well, at least he's got Pepper to help him. *slight Pepperony and Clintasha :)*
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE

Clint watched from the rafters of the empty warehouse, trying to guess what Loki would do next.

It just didn't seem right… Why would he just _give up_ like that? It was definitely out of character, even for an insane dude like Loki.

Squinting in the sunlight, Clint continued to watch Loki like a hawk, bow at the ready.

"Now, Steve?" he muttered into his headpiece. The other Avengers had cornered the Norse demigod, while Clint had been positioned in the rafters with a clear shot at Loki.

"You have the tranquilizer arrow at the ready?"

"Yep. So, fire now?" Clint hurried impatiently, not wanting to waste the perfect opportunity.

Then Loki did something exceedingly strange. Murmuring a few words, he lifted his arms and shot out rays of light in every direction. To Clint's horror, the magic passed right through Steve's shield, and appeared to even leak through Tony's suit. Natasha, Thor, and the Hulk went pale.

Clint fired at the Asgardian. Breaking concentration – it was pretty hard to ignore an arrow flying at your leg – Loki knocked the arrow out of the way, but the spell faltered and hit Loki as well.

As a unit, the Avengers and Loki fell to the ground, unconscious.

Clint climbed down the pole holding up the rafter and ran to his team mates to check if they were alright, but what he saw made him freeze.

His team mates (and Loki) had been turned into _toddlers_.

Eyes glued to the impossible sight before him, Clint called SHIELD, the only people who might be able to solve this little (no, BIG) problem. "I'm going to need you to put Agent Coulson on the line."

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**Hi! This is my first fanfiction, so reviews would be greatly appreciated. Thanks a ton! :D**

**Also, not all chapters will be this short. ;)**

**- ImaginaryParchment**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers! Or Marvel! Or "Agents of SHIELD" for that matter. :)**

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CHAPTER TWO

Coulson came within not twenty minutes, dressed as sharply as ever. "Well, what was so important that you had to call me to an abandoned warehouse at –" Coulson glanced at his watch. "– nearly one in the afternoon?"

Clint motioned with his head at the pile of sleeping Avengers (plus Loki). "That," he answered simply.

Clustered around in the middle of the warehouse were the Avengers and Loki, peacefully sleeping. (Or just knocked out quite thoroughly.) As well as being de-aged, their weapons were "neutralized" – Tony's suit had become Iron Man themed pajamas, Steve's shield had become a Frisbee, and Natasha's hand guns had turned into Nerf guns (which she was currently clutching to her chest). Bruce had shrunk down to a normal size for a toddler and was no longer green, but Clint had no idea whether or not he would be able to transform as a toddler.

The only weapon that appeared unaffected was Mjolnir, possibly because it was magical and had protective spells on it.

Coulson's eyebrows shot up behind his sunglasses as he took the sight in. "Now I see why you wanted me to come alone. That's not something the public needs to know about."

"No kidding," Clint agreed, still shocked himself.

"I'm surprised you weren't panicking over the phone. I know I'd probably be worried."

"Sir, I'm a SHIELD agent. I'm trained to expect the unexpected. And this," Clint motioned towards the sleeping toddlers. "This was definitely unexpected." He frowned slightly. "So was you walking into SHIELD alive – they never did tell us how. Did you just fake your death or something?"

Coulson looked slightly uncomfortable. "Tahiti is a magical place."

Clint decided to ignore Coulson's odd bit of advice (or whatever you called that). "So… what are we going to do with these little Avengers?"

"You. Not we." Was it just Clint, or was Coulson smirking slightly?

"Excuse me?"

"You're going to be taking care of them, Clint. SHIELD can't find out we have a young Loki with us, that could be extremely dangerous – for him, at least," Coulson informed him seriously.

"What do you mean?"

"SHIELD wants him dead. He'd be easier to kill as a child. But I think we can both agree that killing Loki in this state would be wrong."

Clint thought for a moment before nodding. "As much as I hate the guy for controlling me, I do agree that it would be unfair to kill him while he's so vulnerable. Plus he's our only chance to save them, huh?" Clint added. "He's the only person we know of who could change him back."

Coulson nodded. "Looks like it." He began walking back to his car, dubbed "Lola", and climbed in. "Good luck taking care of them Clint. I'll check in on you within a few days."

"Good day, sir." Pause. "Wait, did you just say _I_ was going to take care of them?!" The car pulled away. "Agent Coulson! Coulson! PHIL!" Clint shouted. Reaching into his quiver, he quickly drew a blunt arrow and fired it at the side of Coulson's car out of sheer desperation.

But Coulson just drove away, ignoring Clint's arrow and pleads.

Clint sighed, crossing his arms. "Great."

Just then, Tony woke up with a huge yawn, tugging at his new pajamas. He blinked his sleepy eyes at Clint. "Hungry," he whined. He opened his arms as if expecting Clint to pick him up. "Carry me," he demanded.

_Some things never change_, Clint thought as he obligingly picked up Tony with both arms and surveyed the other Avengers – all of them had on clothes resembling their uniforms. "Hungry!" Tony whined again, though significantly louder. "Wanna go home!"

Clint was beginning to get annoyed with Tony now. "Fine, kid. Let's go back to Stark Tower."

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**Thank you for all the positive feedback! If there's anything that doesn't make sense or is spelled wrong, don't be afraid to review. ;)**

**Also, I made a few "Agents of SHIELD" references, but this will not be a crossover.**

**I will try to update this story at least once per week. :) Expect Pepper and awakened Avenger toddlers next chapter!**

**- ImaginaryParchment**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel, therefore, I don't own the Avengers! :)**

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CHAPTER THREE

Clint loaded Tony into the Quinjet, who was still complaining about being hungry. Then he grabbed Steve and Bruce, both surprisingly light. He went for Natasha next, and smiled to himself. Natasha looked so peacefully happy while she napped in his arms. (Not to mention adorably chubby, though he would never admit it.)

And then he tried to pick up Thor. "Augh!" Clint yelped – Thor was _heavy_.

How was the kid so heavy?!

_Mjolnir_, Clint thought. _Must be the hammer._

Grimacing, the agent peeled Thor's pudgy little fingers away from his precious hammer. Thor fidgeted a bit and muttered something, but other than that, he was sound asleep.

Clint dragged Thor into the Quinjet. The kid was still heavy, but significantly lighter than before. He remembered reading some SHIELD file on how Asgardians were supposedly three times heavier than the average human.

At least Clint could confirm that information now.

He went back for Thor's little brother, loath as he was to. _Loki might be a toddler now_, Clint thought grimly. _But he did take apart my mind a few months back. Nobody can expect me to forgive him that easily._

Months after Loki had attempted to take over the Earth by attacking New York with the Chitauri, he had managed to escape again. They had attempted to corner him in the warehouse so that Thor could take him back to Asgard and face justice. Obviously, that hadn't exactly gone according to plan.

When he made sure all the kids were secure on the jet, Clint buckled himself into the pilot's seat. Tony was sitting shotgun where Clint could keep an eye on him. "I'm hungry!" Tony whined. "I want food! I'm tired! Why are the others sleeping? Are they tired?"

As he listened to Tony's constant complaining, Clint remembered something important:

He did not like children.

After ten irritatingly long minutes of whining from Tony, Clint finally made it to Stark Tower – now known as Avengers Tower. Spotting a black cart in the shadows, Clint got an idea. Smirking, Clint loaded up his teammates (plus enemy) into the cart.

Tony, unsurprisingly, was excited to ride in the cart.

Clint still did suffer having to push along the cart containing two Asgardian children and four other unconscious kids, not to mention try and fit everything into the elevator. _But it was so much quicker than carrying them all at once_, Clint justified. _Plus, Tony looks happy enough._

When he finally stepped into the private Avengers living room with a cart full of toddler Avengers, Pepper ran to Tony (who had just then decided to shut up). "What on Earth happened to you?!" Pepper cried, hugging little Tony. Clint dumped the other Avengers out of the cart and onto the couch.

Tony grinned as Pepper scooped him up in her arms. "Hi Pepper!"

Clint raised an eyebrow. _So the kid remembers his girlfriend._

Pepper smiled hopefully back at Tony. "You know who I am?"

The little toddler bobbed his head. "Yeah. You're pretty. I'm hungry. I wanna eat. Clint was mean. He wouldn't let me eat."

Clint gave Tony a look. "I wasn't mean."

"You wouldn't let me eat!" Tony sniffed disdainfully.

"I had no food."

"Clint was mean!" Tony whined to Pepper.

"You remember me too?" the archer questioned, somewhat unsurprised.

"Kind of," Tony said vaguely. "Oooh look Steve's awake!" He bounded over to the yawning blond. "Hiya Steve!"

Steve blinked. "Hi Tony." He scanned the room blearily. "Where's my shield?" he asked in a sleepy tone.

Clint walked back over to the cart he had borrowed to carry the toddlers. At the bottom were the "neutralized" weapons (minus Mjolnir, which was still at the abandoned warehouse). Searching for Steve's shield, he dug through until he found the brightly colored Frisbee. "Here, kid." He tossed Steve the disc.

Steve caught it, but stared at it as if it were a foreign object. "Too small," he muttered disappointedly.

Tony broke away from Pepper to lumber over to Steve. He showed him his pajamas, tugging at it. "Don't work," he agreed.

Though Clint did notice that Tony still had his arc-reactor. Maybe it didn't count as a weapon.

By now, Thor was awake as well. He leapt up from where he was sleeping. "Friends!" he cried, overjoyed and immediately awake. "How good it is to see you!" He tackle-hugged both Steve and Tony, who both looked like they were about to choke. "Where is Mjolnir?" Thor looked a bit panicked.

Pepper peeled Thor away from the other two kids. "Be careful, Thor," she scolded. "You're much bigger than the other kids." Which was absolutely true – the Asgardian had to be at least a head taller than the others.

"Your hammer is at the warehouse," Clint told Thor. "I was forced to leave it behind." _Because I couldn't lift it._

Thor gave her an embarrassed grin. "I am sorry, Miss Pepper." He turned to Clint. "Might we retrieve my Mjolnir?"

"Later," Clint answered. He took a seat on the couch, not sure what else to do.

Smiling, Pepper ruffled Thor's hair. No doubt she was thinking how cute he was as a toddler. Then she frowned and turned to Clint. "Wait – why aren't you, you know…small?"

"I was out of range of the spell Loki cast," Clint answered, nodding at the awakening toddler.

Pepper whipped around to spot toddler Loki being tackle-hugged by his older brother. "_Loki_ turned everyone small?!"

("Ow!" Loki cried as Thor barreled into him.)

"Yep."

Something tugged at the archer's sleeve. Turning around, Clint noticed it was Natasha who had climbed onto the couch without him noticing. "Hi Clint!" she said with an easy smile.

Clint grinned. "Hey there, Natasha." Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Pepper smiling fondly at the sight.

And then the moment was ruined when Thor tackle-hugged Natasha too. She pushed him off and chased after him, telling him off for tackling her.

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**Hi! As I mentioned in the last chapter, I will be trying to update at least once per week.**

**Also, I watched the movies and did not read the comics, so some information might be a bit skewed. Sorry to any comic readers who might be reading this. :)**

**Thanks for all the reviews/faves/follows! :D They are very much appreciated. ;)**

**- ImaginaryParchment**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel or their awesome Avengers. :)**

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CHAPTER FOUR

By now, Bruce was awake and, after being tackle-hugged by a certain blond Asgardian, was babbling with Tony about science. Clint raised an eyebrow. They must remember more of their old lives than they were letting on.

He took some time observing the Avengers and Loki. He realized that they must be older than toddlers, since they were nearly four feet tall. And they acted in a more mature fashion than most toddlers would, such as their speech patterns (especially with Thor). So that would put them at maybe…seven years old?

"BROTHER, WHY MUST YOU INSIST UPON SITTING IN THAT SMALL CORNER OF THE ROOM?" Thor bellowed from the other side of the room, interrupting Clint's thoughts.

Clint surveyed the room:

Loki was sitting in front of and staring at a blank white wall, apparently lost in thought;

Natasha was firing her Nerf guns at Loki's back and making "pew! pew!" noises;

Steve was jumping over furniture, chasing Thor who was trying to run through everyone to get to Loki;

And Tony and Bruce were still babbling, while Pepper kept a watchful eye on Bruce to make sure he wouldn't "Hulk out" on them.

Clint groaned and nearly face-palmed himself. He seriously hoped Loki would turn them back soon; his team mates were proving to be a handful.

"I'm hungry!" Tony wailed.

Bruce nodded quickly. "Me too!"

Steve nodded quickly, stopping in his chase of Thor. "Me three!" Steve gave a cough, and Pepper shot him a worried look. The Super Soldier had mentioned before that he had suffered from various diseases as a child before the Serum… Had Loki's spell managed to neutralize the Serum as well? Had the same happened to Natasha? She'd mentioned before that she had always been naturally flexible... Clint doubted he would be able to tell the difference between her with the Serum and without it.

Then the kids interrupted Clint's thinking with a chant of: "SNACK! SNACK! SNACK!" Loki merely looked disinterested, opting instead to tangle the soft carpet with his little fingers.

Clint looked to Pepper. "Do you have any food?"

Pepper gave a hurried glance at the beseeching children. "I'll try and fix them something to eat. You distract them." And with that, she marched quickly into the kitchen (which happened to be in a conjoining room).

The archer almost protested, then realized that it would probably make no difference. No one in their right mind would ever voluntarily watch a group of overly-active kids.

Besides, he couldn't cook to save his life. (He could barely toast Pop-Tarts.)

Feeling the stares of six pairs of curious eyeballs on his back, Clint turned to face his teammates. "Hi," he started hesitantly. "I'm Clint."

"I know," Tony interrupted.

Clint ignored him. "I'm going to be your babysitter for a while, along with Pepper Potts. She's getting you food right now." Not knowing what to say, he stared at the kids, who stared back at him, Loki looking almost like he was trying not to snicker.

Trying to think of all the games a toddler could possibly enjoy, Clint blurted:

"How'd you guys like to play Hide-and-Go-Seek?"

And then he realized what a bad idea that would be. He'd probably never find Natasha, and he had no idea what Loki was capable of.

"YEAH!" the six toddlers cheered, fists pumping the air.

Thor looked especially excited. "LOKI WILL ENJOY THIS!" he shouted happily. "HE WAS THE CHAMPION ON ASGARD!"

Clint raised an eyebrow at the young demigod. "Was he now?"

"YES! HE COULD HIDE FOR HOURS AND NONE WOULD FIND HIM! I REMEMBER ONE TIME WHEN… WHEN…" Thor looked confused. "When…"

"There were many times where we played this game," Loki cut in. "And you cannot even remember _one_ time?" He cackled.

Clint frowned. "Loki, that's enough." Then, he realized that what Loki had said meant that he had more memories than Thor, and gave little Loki a curious glance. Which was returned with a scowl.

The archer decided it would probably be best to just start the game.

"30…29…28…27…26…25…24…23…22…21…" he counted slowly, covering his eyes with his hands. "20…19…18…17…16…15…14…13…" By now, the kids had all sprinted out of the room. (He'd counted six pairs of feet leaving.) "12…11…10…9…8…7…6…**5**…**4**…**3**…**2**…**1**… Ready or not, here I come!" he called.

As soon as Clint removed his hands from his face, he went into "Hawkeye Mode", scanning the room for any changes. There was nothing, as he had suspected.

So, where would Tony hide? (He'd decided to try and find him first because Tony was just _so_ annoying.)

He first checked Tony's bed – which had a large lump in it. Clint raised an eyebrow. _How predictable. _He peeled back the covers to find the little kid giggling madly and rolling around in his red-and-gold pajamas. "How'd you find me? I had such a great hiding spot!"

Clint rolled his eyes and sent the kid to the kitchen to find Pepper. Distractedly, he hoped Tony realized he had meant the person and not the spice…

Oh well. _Now, to find the rest_, Clint decided. Where would they hide?

Clint walked back to the main room of Avengers Tower – the same room the Hulk had smashed Loki around – to see if he could track any of the chubby demons. He was glad to hear Tony chatting to Pepper, which meant Clint had not inadvertently gotten one of his team mates lost.

Then he heard a slight rustle from a few meters away. Clint briskly walked out of the main room and into one of the many hallways he had heard the rustle coming from. Another rustle came, this time louder. He walked over to one of the closets and opened the door. "Found you, Steve."

Crawling out of the coat closet, Steve gave a sigh and a smile. _Espionage had never been his strong point_, Clint thought. "Good game," Steve offered cheerfully, sticking out a hand.

Clint shook it, and found that the kid was bony. It seemed as though the Super Soldier Serum's affects _had_ been stripped away – no way had Captain America been that skinny. "Why don't you go see Pepper about your cough," Clint suggested to Steve.

Steve nodded, then started walking back to the kitchen – dragging his Frisbee/shield along with him, Clint noted.

Now, just to find Bruce, Thor, Loki, and Natasha.

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**Hope you enjoyed! Please review if you get the chance. ;)**

**Also, I'll be trying to update every three to four days... :)**

**Thanks for reading and all the great reviews!**

**- ImaginaryParchment**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers. Or Marvel. Sadly.**

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CHAPTER FIVE

Clint had found Bruce easily enough – he had been hiding behind a large potted plant. Not the most inventive hiding spot, but not the worst.

The worst had to be Thor, who'd been hiding in a waste bin. Granted, it was empty, but Clint couldn't help but want to make the over-active demigod take a bath.

Now, the four kids were eating a snack of macaroni-and-cheese. But Loki and Natasha were still hiding.

And gosh darn it, that mac-and-cheese smelled delicious.

"LOKI!" yelled Clint down all the halls. "LOKI! NATASHA! I GIVE–" Clint nearly choked on the words, unwillingly as he was to say them. "I GIVE UP! There," he muttered unhappily. He really hated giving up, but his stomach needed food. As if on cue, his stomach gave a little growl.

Natasha sprinted around a corner, her bright red locks bouncing. "Did I win?" she asked, eyes wide, betraying her excitement. Which, knowing the older Natasha, could have been an act.

"Yeah, kiddo, you won," Clint admitted.

Loki rounded a corner. "Does that mean I won too?"

Clint sighed, trying to suppress a grin. Even though it was Loki, the wide-eyed look on his face was cute. Not that Clint would ever admit that out loud. "Yes, yes, you both won."

The two kids shared a small smile, then sped off down the hall to the kitchen.

The archer watched them go, surprised. Loki and Natasha, sharing a _smile_?

Talk about weird.

Clint followed the pair out of the hallway and back to the kitchen, where Pepper was doling out scoops of cheesy macaroni. "Hi, Clint," Pepper greeted him with a smile. "Aren't they so cute?"

"Sure," Clint said. "If you happen to find demons cute."

Pepper sighed good-naturedly. "You don't mind having macaroni, do you? It's all I've made…"

"Sure," Clint repeated. He did happen to enjoy macaroni, after all.

* * *

All six kids plus Pepper and Clint sat down at one of the smaller tables eating their simple lunch. The kids were chatting happily amongst themselves, without Loki. Loki was picking at his food and looking as if he'd rather not be here. (Which wasn't much of a surprise.) Thor was attempting to get him back into a conversation, but his little brother was just ignoring him.

"Pew, pew, pew!" Natasha cried. The other Avengers laughed.

Pepper turned to Clint. "About how old do you think they are?"

"Physically? About seven years. Why?"

She looked disgruntled, which scared Clint. Pepper was _never_ disgruntled. (Unless it came to Tony, of course. He was a special case.) "Clint, New York Law decrees that all kids between the ages seven and sixteen have to go to school."

"Can't we just hide them?"

"We could be fined or imprisoned!" Pepper hissed so that the kids wouldn't overhear. "I don't want any mars on my records, do you?"

"You've probably already broken the law by not informing SHIELD about this whole situation." Clint tried to keep the smug tone out of his voice, he really did.

"Phil knows!" Pepper protested weakly.

Clint snorted. "Phil's more of a rogue now, flying off in that giant plane with his ragtag team."

Pepper sighed. "I just…don't want to break more laws than I have to."

The archer thought about that. "Let's say I agree with you. Which school do we send them to?" Clint asked, eyeing her while spooning macaroni into his mouth.

Pepper gave him a grim smile. "SHIELD can't know about them, right? We need to take every measure to keep them as secret as possible."

"Right…"

"So we just homeschool them."

"WHAT?!" Clint yelped, shocked.

The room went quiet. The six kids stared at him, macaroni sauce dribbling from Thor's chin (which was now beard-free, and very strange looking).

"Just continue eating," Pepper reassured the kids. "It's fine, Clint's just being a meanie."

The kids seemed satisfied with this answer, and so began chatting and giggling within a few minutes. Except for Loki of course, who insisted upon glaring at his half-full bowl.

"What the heck?!" Clint hissed. "I am not teaching them math or whatever the heck you want me to!"

Pepper groaned and buried her face in her hands. "Well, I can't exactly teach them; I happen to have a job! I can't just leave my job so you can sit around and do nothing while I teach seven year olds!"

They had a glaring contest.

Clint lost.

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**Eeeep! Sorry for the late update, I haven't had the chance to write for a while. :(**

**Thanks for all the wonderful reviews!**

**- ImaginaryParchment**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers, as much as I may wish to. :)**

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CHAPTER SIX

"My name is Jeremy Renner," Clint lied smoothly. "I want to qualify to homeschool seven year olds."

The woman in charge of "qualifying" him, batted her unnaturally large eyes and tossed her obviously dyed hair. "Well, like, I'm Judy." She pointed at her name plate. "Yep. So like, how many? One, two?"

Clint stiffened, not liking Judy. "Six." He smoothed down his grey suit.

"All yours?" Judy asked skeptically, widening her eyes and batting them _again_. (Her eye liner was smeared, but he decided not to tell her. She was quite irritating.)

"No." Clint said shortly.

Judy pounded away at her computer at a painfully slow rate. "I see…" She pursed her fat red lips. "Looks like you're, like, qualified… So, like, make sure your kids get to spend time with other kids their age so that they can be, like, normal and whatever. And, like, sign them up for community sports and stuff." She slid a stack of papers across her desk to Clint and pulled out a compact mirror.

"Fine. Can I leave now?" Clint was very, very eager to leave Judy's small office overpowered with the smell of cheap perfume.

Judy nodded absentmindedly, frowning at her reflection in her compact mirror. "Hey, is my eyeliner smeared?" she called.

Nobody answered – Clint had sprinted out of that room as soon as she had nodded.

* * *

Clint grabbed his paperwork on his way out of the office, happy to be free of Judy. That horrible experience was going right up there with Budapest.

But now was probably going to be the worst part of his day:

_Clothes shopping._

Pepper had insisted that he buy new outfits for the little Avengers because, apparently, it was not okay for them to wander around in their superhero themed outfits every day. (Clint begged to differ.)

Stuffing the papers into the large messenger bag Pepper had given him, Clint walked into the nearest department store. "Hi!" chirped a saleswoman with a bright smile. "How can I help you?"

"I'm looking for, uh, kids' clothing," Clint fumbled. He wasn't used to shopping… SHIELD would usually just provide him with clothes and food, as did Tony (billionaire perks). Natasha had always insisted it was a valuable life-skill. Clint figured he probably should have listened to her.

The women gave him an even wider smile. "Right this way, sir!" She walked him past racks and into a bright room filled with cutesy little monkeys and toy trucks and all that.

The Avenger wanted to vomit.

Instead, Clint gave her a weak smile and thanked her, bracing himself as he entered the sickening section of the store. The SHIELD agent grabbed all the boys' clothes he could possibly find that might fit his tiny friends, and a few outfits he hoped Natasha wouldn't kill him over. (He also bought her a frilly pink dress that looked kind of cute. Clint couldn't resist… Maybe he could get little Natasha to wear it.)

Smirking, Clint came upon a couple of boys' Avengers-themed clothing. He picked all of the Hawkeye t-shirts (which were absolutely _fabulous_), and grabbed a few of the others' just to be fair.

There weren't any Black Widow-themed clothing, which he knew Natasha would be at least a bit upset about.

* * *

"I'm back," Clint announced into the living room. "Got clothes and stuff."

"Shush!" Pepper hissed from the couch, looking through files that appeared to be work.

"What–"

"Be quiet, the kids are napping."

This shut him up immediately. He was free!

"Here's the clothes," he whispered, walking over and handing Pepper the bulging bag. "I remembered the underwear too. And the pajamas."

"Good work," Pepper told him, giving him a sarcastic pat on the back.

* * *

**Poor Clint, having to go shopping and all. :) And you've got to love his fake name. ;)**

**Thank you for all the great reviews! :D**

**- ImaginaryParchment**


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry! I know this is pretty short. . Hopefully the next chapter will be a bit longer.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel! :)**

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CHAPTER SEVEN

The kids woke up in time for a dinner of turkey sandwiches, which they devoured in a matter of minutes. Clint and Pepper stared at them, wondering where all the food went.

"Now what?" piped up Bruce.

"We could play Hunt the Bilgesnipe," Thor suggested, looking excited.

"NO!" Loki screeched. Everyone looked at him, shocked at the sudden outburst. "I mean," he corrected. "I'm always the Bilgesnipe, so I'd rather not."

Thor looked disappointed, but conceded.

"We could play Tag," Steve threw in.

Pepper winced. "Um, sorry, Steve. You can't play that. You have asthma, remember?"

The Star Spangled Kid nodded sadly. "Oh. Yeah."

"Why don't we get ready for bed," Pepper started. "And then we can watch a movie together?"

The kids cheered, apparently excited to watch a movie.

"Clint, can you get their pajamas?"

The archer got up from the table and walked to the elevator door to get their clothes. "Navy pajamas for Thor," he muttered, picking out the largest sized pajamas. "Blue pajamas for Steve, red for Tony, purple for Bruce, green for Loki, and black for Natasha."

(And yes, he was quite proud that he was able to color coordinate their pajamas with their uniforms. It definitely had to add to his manliness.)

He tossed each kid their pajamas. "Go change into these," Clint ordered. "And then come back downstairs to watch a movie."

"Clint," Pepper chided, appearing out of nowhere. "That's no way to talk to children."

Clint nearly jumped. (But didn't; he _is_ a spy.) "Whatever."

"Do you guys need any help changing?" Pepper asked the children sweetly.

"Nope!" the kids chorused before rushing off into their own rooms.

"You know, you should probably change too, Clint."

Clint crossed his arms. "Why?"

"Because," Pepper started. "All I've seen you wear is that grey suit and your Hawkeye uniform, like now. Don't you have any normal clothes?"

Looking down at his awesome uniform, Clint couldn't help but feel a bit self-conscious. Pepper was wearing a pretty white dress and coat, her usual style.

"Fine." He made for his room. "I'll go change."

* * *

As soon as he had changed into something more "normal" (black t-shirt and jeans), Clint sat down on the dark brown couch and asked JARVIS to turn on the TV. "JARVIS?" he called when he received no answer. "Hey, JARVIS? Television, please?"

Pepper sat down next to him on the couch. "Somehow, little Tony locked JARVIS to only respond to his voice." She sighed.

Groaning, Clint manually grabbed a _remote_ (how old-fashioned!) and had to turn on the TV _all by himself_. The outrage of it all!

The red-head rolled her eyes. "You'd think it was killing you, the way you're acting, like somehow manually turning on the TV is equivalent to repeatedly stabbing yourself."

"But it is!" Clint insisted, glaring at her.

"Mhm. Sure."

Thor entered the room, dragging along his little brother. "HELLO!" he bellowed with a beam. "WHAT FILM HAVE YOU SELECTED?"

"We haven't decided yet," Pepper told him. "Do you have any preferences?"

"A DISNEY FILM!" Thor exclaimed excitedly. Loki groaned.

Clint smirked. _Wait until Tony hears that…_

Just then, the young billionaire entered the room, his friends not too far behind him. "Yeah! Let's watch a Disney movie!" Tony cheered.

"Seriously?" Clint mouthed to Pepper, shocked.

Pepper shrugged, and changed the channel to Stark Industries Television Services. "Any Disney movie in particular?"

"How about _Beauty and the Beast_?" Steve suggested hopefully.

Clint looked at Pepper. Pepper looked at Clint. "Why not?" she said.

* * *

**I don't think Tony actually has his own broadcasting/television service, but it'd be pretty darn cool. ;)**

**Thank you for all the nice reviews! :D**

**- ImaginaryParchment**


	8. Chapter 8

**Upon suggestion of Ghost Rider of the Aragon, Phil is back! Yay! :D**

**Sorry for the last two short chapters, this one is much longer. ;)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel - not even the Avengers.**

* * *

CHAPTER EIGHT

The movie ended, Belle and the-Beast-turned-human dancing around the ballroom. Clint yawned. "Alright, kids, that's the end. Bedtime!"

Natasha, Steve, and Bruce were staring at the TV screen with huge smiles. "What?" Bruce asked distractedly, eyes glued to the movie.

Thor and Tony were cheering on Belle in not-so-indoor voices. "GO BELLE! GO BELLE!" they shouted. The archer swore he saw the ceiling shake.

Loki, who sat on the right of Thor, was noticeably trying to scoot away. "That was a ridiculous movie," he sniffed. "I could never possibly comprehend what you are thinking."

The thunderer looked offended. "Brother, 'twas a wonderful tale of romance and battle!"

"It was utterly ridiculous! Why would a young maid such as Belle ever fall for a horrible Beast? Monsters aren't meant to be loved," Loki said with a scowl.

Thor gaped. "Brother, do not say such things!"

Bruce looked about ready to cry as he looked at Loki and Thor. "Whaddaya mean, 'monsters aren't meant to be loved'?"

Everyone in the room went quiet, the only sound being the credit music playing.

"Bedtime!" Pepper exclaimed finally, breaking the heavy silence.

Sighing, the grown Avenger took a long look at his team mates, trying to decide which would be least likely to hurt him. "Steve, you're coming with me," he decided finally.

"What?" The kid had gone back to staring at the television screen.

Clint grabbed Steve and slung him over his shoulder. "Bedtime, kid."

Steve immediately started flailing. "NO!" he shrieked wildly. "NOT _BEDTIME_!"

"Yes, bedtime." The miniature captain protested the entire way, but Clint finally got him into the extremely large blue-and-red bed. "Good night, Steve."

"'Night, Clint," Steve muttered unhappily, clutching his plastic Frisbee shield.

Steve fell asleep the second the lights went out.

* * *

Finally, all six kids were in bed, though all with similar reactions as Steve. (Tony and Thor were worse, but Bruce, Loki, and Natasha were fine.)

"Who knew forcing them to go to bed would require so much work?" Pepper said with a tired smile.

Clint scoffed. "I certainly didn't."

Pepper sighed and slid down the dark couch. "I think I'm going to bed too."

"But it's only nine o'clock!"

"Well, I happen to be absolutely exhausted. And I have work tomorrow." Tony's girlfriend grinned. "And you have school!"

Clint groaned and shoved a pillow atop his face. He honestly planned to just stay there for a while, feeling the urge to be lazy.

Suddenly, Pepper went pale. "Clint," she whispered, the expression on her face horrified. "Clint, we forgot to give the kids a bath."

"No way am I giving _them _a bath _now_," Clint stated firmly, eyes widening. "Not now, hopefully not ever."

She shook her head. "Clint, I can't exactly give the guys a bath. That would be awkward."

"So you want _me_ to give them a bath?! Good luck with that!"

"Clint…" she warned. Pepper hung her head in her hands. "Clint, please. We can do it tomorrow morning. But please, please, please just give them a bath." Her voice came out muffled through her sleeves.

Silence.

"Fine. As long as they wear swimsuits," Clint finally decided, caving.

"Swimsuits? What…?"

"I bought some just in case."

* * *

Meanwhile, Thor rustled around in his blankets. Why would Loki claim that monsters aren't meant to be loved? And why did it bother Thor so much?

Struggling to remember, the young Asgardian finally clung onto a thin memory.

_"Your brother is not Asgardian," Odin admitted, his good eye closing. "He is a Frost Giant. But not just any Frost Giant: Loki is the son of Laufey."_

Thor swallowed. If this memory were true, that would make his brother a monster.

_No_, he corrected himself. _Loki is not a monster. He is my brother. He would never harm anyone._

Satisfied at last, Thor fell to sleep, dreaming of Asgard and Loki and all the wonderful days they had had there. But of course, they were only dreams – dreams Thor would forget come the next morning.

* * *

"RISE, MIDGARDIANS!" Thor shouted.

"Kneel, Midgardians," Loki murmured with a smile, half-asleep. Seeing as he wasn't an Avenger and so didn't exactly have a room in the large tower, he was bunking with his older brother.

"Whuzzagoinon?" Tony slurred, wandering out of his large bedroom. "Mornin'?"

"YES, FRIEND TONY! AND A GOOD MORNING AT THAT!"

Clint opened his bedroom door (decently dressed, mind you, in an old t-shirt and sweat pants) and peered down the hallway. "You guys are up already?" he asked, surprised. Usually, the other Avengers would enjoy sleeping in…

"YES, FRIEND CLINT! **LOKI, WAKE UP ALREADY!**"

"Mphmhmthmphm!" Loki protested, eyes squeezed shut and pulling his thick green blanket closer around his body.

Thor ripped off the blanket. "**WAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUP!**"

At least now Clint knew why Loki would want vengeance upon his brother. That was just _evil_.

"Whoa, whoa," Clint interrupted Thor, who was still chanting "**WAKEUPWAKEUP**". "Thor, it's bath time."

"Bath time? I do not understand…"

Clint grinned an evil little grin. "Oh, you will soon. Just change into these awesome Hawkeye trunks."

Little Thor was confused, but he obeyed.

The archer sincerely hoped that he would not be beaten by Mjolnir for this… _interesting_ endeavor.

* * *

The four male Avengers (plus Loki, of course) all stood in a VERY large white bath tub, water up to their knees, and confused expressions upon their chubby little faces.

"Whatcha doin'?" Tony asked Clint, curiously.

"What are _we_ doing?" Bruce threw in, tugging at his awesome Hawkeye swim trunks.

"Indeed!" Thor agreed with a suspicious glance at Clint.

Loki was smirking. The archer had a feeling he knew what was going on.

"Okie dokie kids," Clint started seriously, kneeling on the cool blue tile and grabbing the shampoo bottle. "Hold out your hands."

As each slowly put out their tiny hands, the agent squirted cute blue shampoo into each kid's hand. "Rub that in your hair," Clint ordered. "Quickly! No, not that quickly Thor, you're going to rub out your hair."

Finally, each had a good amount of blue-tinged foam in their hair. "Rinse. " Clint pointed at the tub. "Using that water."

There was a knock at the door. "Hello?" a voice called. Clint frowned – that was definitely not Pepper.

"Hello? Agent Barton, are you in there?" The person knocked again.

Dang it. He knew that voice.

"Um..."Clint stood up abruptly and tried to cover the kids with the shower curtain as best he could, but failed miserably. He groaned - Pepper would never let him live this down.

Coulson opened the door to the bathroom. "Hello, Agent Barton. Mr. Rogers, Mr. Banner, Mr. Odinson, Mr. Odinson, Mr. Stark." He gave Clint that smug little smile, and said, "Agent Barton, I'm just here to check up on you. Obviously, you've got the situation under control. I'll be out in the living room if you need to talk – just going over a few security measures with Miss Potts."

"Yeah…" Clint drawled slowly, wondering how the man could keep calm with four half-naked little Avengers waving at him cheerfully and one tiny Asgardian glaring at him. "Yeah… You do that..."

"Alright then. Good day, Agent Barton." And with that, he left the bathroom.

Clint stood there for a second staring at the door. "Did you guys see that?" he whispered to the kids, not taking his eyes off the door for a second.

"I remember him," Steve informed him as he splashed water at Tony. "He was very nice before _Loki_ here did something bad." He frowned slightly. "What did he do?"

"Killed him!" Loki answered cheerfully. He wore a rather, er, _evil_ smile. There really was no other way to describe it.

Thor looked disappointed. "And then you launched me from the sky in a glass prison."

"That was meant for me," Bruce muttered.

"Did I save you?" Tony asked excitedly. "I have an awesome metal suit that flies!"

The five kids looked at one another. "Can't remember the rest," Steve admitted sadly.

Thor tossed water at Tony, and war ensued.

* * *

**Woohoo! Bath time! ;D **

**Also, I just posted a Harry Potter one-shot. Please check it out if you've got the time. :)**

**Thank you all for the nice reviews! :D**

**- ImaginaryParchment**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel or the Avengers! :(**

* * *

CHAPTER NINE

"I hate this food!" Loki declared in his high voice, shoving his cereal away from himself.

Natasha glared at him, between mouthfuls of Cheerios. "Shut up and eat your food." _She was never a morning person anyways_, Clint thought fondly.

"That's a very bad word," Pepper scolded the young redhead as she poured coffee for herself and Clint.

It was Monday – a whole two days after the 'Avengers-turned-into-little-kids' incident. Tony, Thor, Steve, Bruce, Loki, and Natasha were as small as ever, but Clint believed they remembered bits and pieces of their old lives.

Take now, for instance:

"Loki, calm down," Thor said in a gentle tone, patting his little brother on the back with a tiny hand. "The Midgardians have provided us with sustenance, the best they can."

"I HATE IT!" the dark haired Asgardian screeched, jumping up and swatting Thor's hand.

Bruce gave him a baleful look. "Please don't shout. It makes me feel bad."

Pepper paled, looking at Clint. Was the Other Guy still there?

"I DON'T WANNA EAT!"

Little Thor was starting to look irritated. "Eat!"

"NO!"

"Brother, please," Thor pleaded. "Just eat!"

"I SAID: NO!" Loki persisted, his chubby little face turning red with anger.

Thor slammed a fist on the table, his own face turning red as well. "BROTHER, LISTEN WELL! YOU **SHALL** EAT YOUR LOOPS OF FRUIT!"

The younger brother crossed his arms in defiance. "I'm listening," he answered mockingly.

"I think that's enough," Steve cut in, looking tired.

"Yeah," Clint agreed, feeling a bit out of place. "We're not morning people. Let's just leave it at that." He turned to the little gods. "Loki: you don't have to eat your Fruit Loops. Thor: you can't make him."

The two tiny brothers looked at each other for a long time.

"Sorry, Brother," muttered Thor.

Loki looked a tad embarrassed. "Me too."

Clint sighed in relief. "Good."

"Is it always like this?"

The archer sighed. He had forgotten that _Coulson_ was still here. "Yes. Yes, it is." He walked over to Loki and took the offending bowl of cereal.

Coulson took a calm sip of his coffee. "Well, looks like everything is in order. I think I'll be going now. Is there anything you need?"

Pepper looked at Clint, who looked back at Pepper. "Nah," they said simultaneously.

The SHIELD agent shrugged. "Alright then. I was in the area and I figured I'd stop by to say 'hello'." He stood up and walked to the elevator. "Good bye, Agent Barton, Miss Potts, Mr. Stark, Mr. Rogers, Mr. Odinson, Mr. Odinson, Mr. Banner, Ms. Romanov."

"**BYE!**"

And with that, the rogue agent left.

Pepper let out a deep breath. "Phew. Coulson can be freakishly calm."

The archer grunted his complete agreement.

"Well, it's time for me to be leaving too. Don't forget to homeschool them today," she told Clint with a warning tone. Grabbing her bag, Pepper walked quickly over to the shiny white elevator, calling: "I'll be back at five o'clock!"

Again, a resounding reply of: "**BYE!**"

Clint grunted.

"So, Clint, what are we doing for this 'homeschool' thing?" Tony asked between mouthfuls of Frosted Flakes.

The archer felt – and probably looked – lost. "Uh… Math? English? Science? History? Stuff?" He scratched his head. "At least, I think that's what the teacher's manual said…"

Truth be told, Clint hadn't actually read the manual…or packet…or book...

Tony the kid shrugged. "Whatever." He ran to the living room and began playing with the Legos Pepper had bought the other day. The other kids quickly followed him out the door and began to create chaos with the little billionaire.

Clint groaned – this was looking up to be a _fantastic_ day.

* * *

After much huffing, puffing, shoving, and tears, Clint had gotten the kids into their outfits for the day. Tony was wearing a gold t-shirt (he had insisted) and dark jeans; Steve was wearing a nice blue t-shirt with his shield on it and blue jeans; Bruce was wearing a plain purple t-shirt and tan khakis; Loki had somehow "magicked" on what looked like a casual Asgardian outfit in his trademark colors; and Natasha was wearing a black t-shirt and dark jeans, not allowing anything else.

And Thor…

Natasha had allowed Clint to brush her hair (which wasn't all that hard, considering how well she took care of her beautiful red hair), but Thor was an entirely different case.

When Thor saw Clint coming towards him with a brush, he screamed and ran the other way. So Clint had given up, and let the little demigod have his way. If Thor wanted to run around with an afro of tangly gold hair, that was fine.

But he had let Clint give him his outfit of a dark blue t-shirt with little storm clouds on it and a pair of jeans. Even though he did laugh and say: "Your Midgardian clothes are so funny!"

* * *

Finally, the archer had gotten those darn kids to calm down, and led them into the main room so that they could "go to school".

They were now all seated in the smallest chairs Clint could find, with the longest table Clint could find spread out in front of them.

"So," Clint started, nervously. (He'd never taught kids before.) "So, um, I'm Clint. You can address me as such."

"Okay, Clint!" Tony shouted with a grin, then leaned back on his chair legs.

"Rule One," Clint said quickly. "No shouting. Rule Two, no leaning back in the chairs! You can get seriously injured!" Clint may be an archer and he may be quick, but he wasn't a mutant. He couldn't be _that_ fast.

The small billionaire scowled, but let all four legs of the chair touch the ground.

"Anyways, let's start with our first lesson." Clint flipped through the book. "Um, do you guys remember how to add?"

"**YES!**"

"How to subtract?"

"**YES!**"

"Multiplying and dividing?"

"**YES!**"

Clint frowned. He had flipped to the end of the math section. "Do you guys want to skip math?"

"**YYYYEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!**"

The archer looked up from the book. The other male Avengers were leaping about and doing a weird celebratory dance. On the other hand, Loki was leaning back in his chair, and Natasha had her head propped up on her hand and was _staring at Clint_.

Clint stared back at tiny Natasha.

Who stared right back at him, not wavering a single bit.

Clint looked away, and found that now Thor and Tony were wrestling on the ground, with Steve trying to pull Thor off and failing, and Loki smirking. Bruce was just sitting in his chair quietly, seeming unsure as to whether or not he should help them

Finally, Thor rolled off of Tony (who had been turning red) and faced Steve. "You want to fight?!" he roared. Maybe not _roared_, but as close to roaring as you can get when you're only four feet tall.

Steve put up his hands in a defensive stance. "I could do this all day," he announced bravely, bouncing on his feet. Clint could tell he was trying to look confident, but he didn't have the Serum or the shield, and was facing off with the Thunderer.

Clint practically dove between the two boys. "Break it up, we're in school, remember? Rule Three is No fighting."

Steve blinked. "Really?" His arms fell to his side.

"Er, yeah. Totally."

"Oh. Sorry."

Clint turned to Thor. "And you? What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Sorry, Clint," he muttered dejectedly.

The archer let out a sigh. "Okay, class resumes in a minute or two. Everyone go take a break."

* * *

**So, you may have noticed me ****_sort of_**** quoting"The Avengers"...** **I don't own those sort-of-quotes. :)**

**Thank you for the kind reviews! :D**

**- ImaginaryParchment**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel, and especially not the Avengers! ;D**

* * *

CHAPTER TEN

Clint walked to his room and curled up on the bed. "What have you gotten yourself into, Clint?" he asked himself, staring at the blank white ceiling.

He just sat there for a little while, contemplating why the heck he had even gotten into the SHIELD business, until a little knock came at the door. "Clint, are you ok?"

It was Natasha.

"Yeah," he answered. "Go away."

He might have let Natasha the Adult in, but Natasha the Child? Just the sight of her worried him. What if the charm Loki had cast was permanent?

What if the Real Natasha never came back?

Natasha the Child left, her tiny footsteps pattering off into the distance.

Clint flopped over onto his belly and let out a sigh.

_How the heck did you even _get_ here, Clint?_

* * *

The archer clapped his hands together. "History."

Bruce tilted his head. "What kinda history?"

"U.S. history," Clint told him, surveying the class for their reaction.

Steve cheered, causing Tony to roll his eyes. Bruce and Natasha looked vaguely interested, but the two Asgardians gave Clint blank looks.

_Good thing you remember some of your history, Clint._

"Basically, Earth (or Midgard) is made up of countries. They're different regions of land ruled by their own king or president or whatever. Way back when, England –" At this, Clint pulled out a large map and pointed at the country. "Was ruled by a king that some English people did not like."

"Why?" Loki questioned, curious. "He is their king, is he not? They are supposed to like him."

Clint grabbed the history textbook he had been given. Hastily flipping through it, he found a page on the Revolutionary Warand scanned the few paragraphs they had written on it. "Seriously?" he asked aloud. "This is what they're feeding kindergarteners these days? This has barely any violence!"

Thor and Tony looked disappointed.

"Well, then what does it say?" asked Loki irritably.

Clint shut the textbook. "So: the Revolutionary War, also known as the American Revolutionary War or America War of Independence kind of started with citizens leaving England to freely practice their religion, start a new life, or escape authorities. Basically. Then they rebelled against their king because he taxed too much and a whole series of events occurred that led to war."

_Wow, vague much, Clint? _

Clint imagined himself slapping his inner voice – which was very satisfying.

"Any questions?" he asked the kids. "Anything you want me to clarify or elaborate on…?"

Steve's skinny little hand shot up in the air. "How long did it take us to win the war?" he blurted.

The adult Avenger scratched his head. "Oh, er… A long time? The Americans did win," he added, looking at the Asgardians.

"So the rebels succeeded, then," Loki murmured, looking disturbed and slouching in his chair.

Clint remembered Loki wanting to be king or something, but the king could only be Thor, so Loki got upset and tried to take over Earth from New York. So obviously, Loki wants to be king – but maybe learning the ugly side of being king is convincing him not to be?

_Gah, psychology is confusing. Stop trying to understand, Clint._

Just then, Thor stood up and slammed his hand on the table. "LUNCH!" he cried, and ran into the kitchen, closely followed by his teammates.

Clint looked at his watch. "Well, what do you know?" he asked himself, chuckling slightly. "It's exactly twelve o'clock." He frowned, scratching his head. "How did Thor know? There's no clocks or anything in this room…"

"He has an internal clock." It was Loki, who was still splayed lazily. "Tells him eating times and all that. It's rather funny though, considering that he forgot to visit his true love for, what, two or three years?"

Clint shooed the kid into the kitchen after rolling him off the plastic chair. "Don't make fun of your brother."

"But he's so _stupid_! And besides, he's not even my real brother."

Well, that was news.

"Go eat lunch, Loki."

The young Asgardian rolled his eyes dramatically. "_Fine_."

* * *

Five hours later, Pepper came home to find her kitchen a mess. Her jaw dropped - her pots and pans were scattered all over the floor, eating utensils sticking out of random holes, plates and bowls shattered, and trash literally _everywhere_.

"Clint!" She shouted, searching for the archer. "Clint Barton, what is going on?!"

He rolled over. "Hi."

"Don't 'hi' me, young man!" The red-head dropped her bag and stormed over. "Why is my kitchen in shambles? Why are the kids insane?"

"Um… Tried to make hotdogs. The wieners exploded, causing the kids to panic. They wrecked your kitchen. Then they had a sugar-high or something, which is weird because I didn't give them sugar, and they haven't calmed down yet."

Pepper groaned and massaged her temples. Plopping onto the couch, she tried to ignore the kids' screaming. "Well, did you at least teach them?" she demanded.

"Um… Like, one history lesson. Yay me."

Pepper buried her head in her hands. "Good enough. Tomorrow, you'd better get more done, though."

"Mhm. Yeah."

CRASH!

"Oh my gosh, is Thor okay?!"

* * *

Clint handed Thor an icepack. "Here, kid."

But Thor refused. "NO! A true warrior does not require medical assistance after merely crashing into a wall. I shall be fine, Friend Clint."

Clint sat in the wood chair next to the Asgardian. "Hey, can I ask you a question?" This had been bothering him the entire time after Loki had told him.

"I suppose, Friend Clint." Thor looked mildly curious.

The archer thought about how to phrase his question. "Thor, Loki told me that you weren't his real brother. Did he mean this as in blood-relation or are you guys just not close at all…?"

The little blond looked upset by this news. Clint looked at him expectantly.

"It is true, we are not blood-related, but I had thought we were very close when growing up on Asgard together. We were raised together, we played together, we fought together. Apparently he cares about none of that." Thor had tears welling in his eyes, his bottom lip trembling.

Clint patted his shrunken teammate awkwardly on the back. "Er, I'm, um, so sorry…?"

Thor burst into tears and wrapped the archer in a bone-crushing hug.

* * *

**Sorry, Thor! ;)**

**Ok: I just want to say that the history lesson and any reactions the kids/Clint might have had DO NOT EXPRESS MY PERSONAL OPINION. It's just how I thought they might react/teach.**

**Yep, just wanted to make that clear. :)**

**Thank you for all the wonderful reviews! ^.^**

**Also, I posted a poll concerning which character you'd like to see more of in this story on my profile page. If there is a preferred character you have, go ahead and vote! :D**

**- Imaginary Parchment**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers/Marvel! :)**

* * *

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Clint frantically tried to calm the little boy sobbing into his shirt by patting his back, but it wasn't working. "Thor, sh, it's okay, just _please_ calm down… I'm sure Loki loves you and stuff… Just _please_ be quiet!"

Thor wasn't listening, however. "Loki doesn't care about me!" he cried, his voice muffled by Clint's shirt. "He never has, has he?"

"Um…"

Pepper entered the kitchen and took in the scene before her. "Thor? Are you okay?" she asked him worriedly. "Did Clint say something to make you upset?"

"LOKI DOESN'T CARE ABOUT ME!" he wailed, turning from Clint to run and cling to Pepper.

The red-head wrapped her arms around the hysterical Asgardian. "Sh," she whispered, rocking Thor back and forth. "Sh… It's going to be alright… I'm sure Loki loves you, deep down…"

Thor sniffed, still clinging with all his might to the kind woman. "Really?"

She smiled. "Of course."

Clint rubbed his mid-section, which was sore from being hugged by the Mighty Thor. _Are you okay? _he mouthed to Pepper, mimicking a hug and pointing at the tiny blonde.

Pepper nodded slightly, giving him a smile and a wink.

* * *

Clint re-entered the main room, and saw the other kids coloring in some coloring books. "Where'd all these come from?" he asked curiously, peering at the picture Natasha was coloring with some dark crayons.

"Pepper," Natasha answered simply, coloring the mermaid's hair a brilliant red.

"That was nice of her," Clint replied, thinking how peaceful everything seemed. He walked over to Tony and noted that his coloring book consisted of racecars. Bruce had one that had a mad scientist theme, Steve's was for the Fourth of July, and Loki's was of the Solar System, which he was laughing at.

Clint stared at the book, and couldn't see what was so funny.

Loki noticed his staring at wiped at his eyes. "They think the realms are chunks of rock with no life called _planets_!" he gasped out. "Isn't that funny?"

"But… Why?" The archer thought Loki's behavior was odd, but it did kind of match that of his brother's, who had talked of 'realms' at one point.

Loki gave Clint a 'why must you be so stupid' look. "Because they're _not_, and this proves that humans are stupid." Then he started laughing hysterically again.

_Moving on_, Clint thought to himself, inching away from the maniacal Asgardian.

"Look at what I colored!" Tony shouted, waving around his coloring book.

Clint stared at Tony's, um, _unique_ coloring skills. As intelligent and precise as Tony was when it came to building suits, his artistic skills were nonexistent.

But of course, he was bragging about it with his usual Stark flare.

"I colored the car _red_ and _gold_ like my suit!" he informed everyone. "It's awesome!"

Unfortunately, as he was waving his coloring book around, he knocked over a cup of water.

And it spilled _all over Natasha's book_.

Tony went quiet, his eyes wide and fearful.

Natasha stared at her picture, now sopping wet. Slowly, she turned to face him, her face terrifyingly calm. "Did you spill water on my coloring book?" she asked him, her voice soft.

The little billionaire nodded nervously.

And then she tackled him and stared punching him as he squeaked and struggled. "Help!"

Clint panicked and tried to peel Natasha off of Tony. "Let go of him!" he yelped, trying to save Tony's life.

Bruce went slack-jawed, unsure of what to do, as Steve gaped.

Suddenly, the room glowed green, and Natasha was paralyzed.

Clint turned and looked at Loki in surprise. "You still have magic?"

Loki scowled. "Did you not see that Mjolnir was unaffected by the spell? It doesn't work on magic!" He brushed imaginary dust off of his shoulder. "Really, you should be thanking me."

The archer blinked. "Er… Yeah. Thanks. I guess."

Loki sniffed disdainfully. "You're quite welcome. Now, if you'll excuse me…" He walked out of the main room and assumingly to his bedroom.

"Wow," Steve said, summing up everyone's feelings.

Except for Natasha, of course, who was still angry with Tony (and paralyzed).

* * *

"Can you unfreeze Natasha?" Clint asked Loki suspiciously.

"She shall regain control of her limbs in an hour," came his muffled reply from the other side of the door.

Clint hesitated before asking his next question. "Why didn't you tell us about your magic earlier?"

"I assumed you knew, and that you weren't nearly so stupid," Loki scoffed. "And if you're wondering why I decided to save Mr. Stark, that would be because I find him amusing. It would be a shame if he were to die at Romanoff's hands."

_How did he know I was thinking that? _Clint wondered.

"Intuition!" Loki shouted from within his bedroom.

Well, that was scary.

"What are you planning to do with your magic?" Clint asked the young boy.

Silence.

Clint waited for a response for a while, then realized he wasn't about to get one.

* * *

The archer sat with Natasha until she unfroze.

"Stupid Loki," she muttered, rubbing at her wrists. "Wish I could kill him."

Clint raised an eyebrow. "You're not the first."

* * *

**Happy (Late) Valentine's Day! 3**

**Sorry for a rather short chapter... :3 **

**And also, I've posted a poll regarding which character you'd like to see more of in this story on my profile. :)**

**Thank you for all the kind and constructive reviews!**

**- ImaginaryParchment**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer (just in case ;)): I don't own Marvel, especially not the Avengers.**

* * *

CHAPTER TWELVE

Loki started awake, drenched in sweat. He placed a hand over his heart, and found that it was beating out of control.

He sat up, peering around the dark room, and found that his idiot not-brother was still sleeping.

Thank Valhalla for small mercies.

Loki lay back down, clutching the ivory blankets he had been given. _Nightmares_, he thought. _Are the worst creation._

He'd dreamt that he had been falling – forever, it would seem. It was dark, he kept falling, and Odin and Thor wouldn't save him, no matter how many times he's cried out for them.

The little boy shuddered, and tried to wipe the memory of the nightmare from his mind.

He looked over to Thor's bed, wondering if his brother would let him crawl into his bed. It had helped in the past…

_No, _he thought fiercely. _I will not sink so low._

* * *

Steve had a secret.

And yes, it was a very_ manly_ secret.

No, not really.

The tiny captain shuffled out of bed to get Mr. Fluff.

Who was Mr. Fluff?

Only the greatest guardian of all time.

Steve pushed aside some books to find the fluffy sky-blue teddy bear. He'd gone back to Coney Island – a place he had been to once with Bucky (a good friend…right?) a long, long time ago.

Yes, Bucky was a good friend. His best friend? Maybe... It all felt fuzzy...

Anyways, when he'd returned to Coney Island, he had won Mr. Fluff at the skee-ball game, and now it brought back nice memories to help chase away the dark thoughts.

Steve clambered back into his bed, hugging Mr. Fluff as tightly as he could.

Maybe this time, Mr. Fluff could stop the ice and water.

* * *

Natasha had a horrible dream that night. She didn't think she usually had one of those, but it seemed almost like déjà vu.

There was a person – she couldn't really tell who – and someone was telling her to kill him. To fire a bullet through his skull and into his brain, and just end him. Right there.

_But that's wrong! _Natasha wanted to scream. _I shouldn't kill him!_

_Kill him… _a voice had whispered. _Kill him… He deserves it…_

_I deserve it,_ Natasha thought mournfully. _I've killed so many people…_

And then suddenly, it rained blood.

She was choking on it, gagging, drowning in it. The red filled her vision until it was all she could see –

"Natasha!" a gruff voice yelled. "Natasha, wake up, it's just a dream!"

Natasha's eyes snapped open, and she blinked up at her hero.

It was Clint.

"Hi, Clint," she said, giving him a watery smile. Maybe, if she acted sad, he would stay and fend off the bad dreams.

He wrapped her in a hug. "Sh… It's alright, Natasha. Everything is fine. You're not back there anymore, you're here with me…"

Somehow, her old friend seemed to know what had happened. _Strange_, Natasha thought vaguely. _Did I tell him?_

Clint smiled down at the little girl in his arms. She really was quite cute at this age.

Eventually, sleep overcame Natasha, though Clint continued to hold her long after.

* * *

Bruce sobbed into his pillow, unable to hold it back.

He had a nightmare of the giant green monster again – the one where it was smashing everything, and Bruce couldn't stop it.

Bruce wanted to so badly, and he knew he could, but somehow…

Choking back his sobs as he tried to calm down, Bruce heard the door open as light flooded his neat bedroom. "Hey, kid, you okay?" came Clint's voice.

Bruce shook his head. It would be no use to lie.

Clint walked over to him and sat down on his large bed. (Well, large for Bruce, normal for Clint.) "Do you want to watch some TV? Maybe it'll calm you down."

Bruce nodded, hiding his face in embarrassment with a pillow.

The archer picked Bruce up and carried him over to the main room. "Alrighty, let's see what's on TV…" He picked up the remote and hit the power button. "There we go!"

The TV flickered on to show a live broadcasting of the Anaheim Ducks versus the New York Rangers. "Hmph," Clint muttered. "The Mighty Ducks of Anaheim."

"Did you say Vanaheim?" Bruce asked curiously. "Isn't that one of Thor's realms?"

Clint looked momentarily confused, then it clicked. "Oh! No, I mean Anaheim, like that city in California."

"Oh. Ok."

The two guys watched hockey for a little while before Clint changed the channel. "Cool, the History Channel."

Bruce nodded sleepily before resting his tiny head on Clint's shoulder. "Mhm."

"Heheh, 'Cake Boss'," Clint commented as he continuously flipped through channels. "That show's pretty neat. Ever watched it before?" The archer didn't wait for an answer. "Check it out, 'Once Upon a Time'! That show's pretty awesome! Robin Hood showed up for a little while, and…"

Clint glanced over at Bruce to ask his opinion, but the little kid was already asleep.

* * *

The next morning, Clint awoke to find a full-grown Bruce sitting next to him snoring.

So Clint naturally reacted in a very sensible way:

"WHAT THE HECK?!"

* * *

***gasp!* Cliffhanger! :0**

**Don't worry, it may seem like the end is near, but there is still quite a while to go. Not all of the Avengers share Bruce's fate... *louder gasp!* :D**

**(Unless you want this story to end. In that case, sorry. :))**

**Thank you for the great reviews! And favorites, and follows! Thank you! ;D**

**Remember to check out the poll I have on my profile relating to this story, if you haven't already! :)**

**- ImaginaryParchment**

**(I think I may have overused the exclamation point...oops.)**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers/Marvel, or Cheerios, or Poptarts.**

* * *

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

The next morning, Clint awoke to find a full-grown Bruce sitting next to him snoring.

So Clint naturally reacted in a very sensible way:

"WHAT THE HECK?!"

Bruce's eyes shot open, and he stared at Clint for a minute, seeming to try to keep his bearings. "Clint? What's going on?"

Clint ran a hand through his hair. "You're – you're BIG again. Like, normal sized. And adult looking." He stared at Bruce. "And you're wearing the purple pajamas." And suddenly, Clint began to laugh.

Bruce looked frightened – Clint's laughs didn't exactly sound normal. They sounded rather…maniacal. Crazy. Panicked.

The doctor himself was feeling rather out of it too. He had been a little kid mere hours before, and now he was an adult. Had the spell Loki had put on the Avengers worn off? Bruce hoped so.

He left the crazed Clint laughing on the couch and walked quickly to Tony's room, ignoring the headache that was coming on. He wrenched open the door and saw his _full-grown _team mate.

"Tony?" he called out, walking over to the billionaire to shake him awake. "Tony, wake up!"

Tony rolled over and buried his face in his pillow. "I don't want to."

"You're an **adult**, Tony!"

This got him awake. "What?" He clambered out of bed and took a good, long look at himself. "Cool! My beard's back!"

Bruce blinked. "That's your first thought?"

"Duh! I missed Tony the Beard!" The Avenger smoothed down his red pajamas. "So, what, are we going to wake the others now?"

"I guess."

"Where's Clint?" Tony asked Bruce as they walked out the room and over to Steve's.

"I left him on the couch," the doctor explained. "I wasn't feeling good last night, so I watched television with Clint. Then we fell asleep, woke up, discovered I was an adult, and he laughed."

"He laughed?" Tony looked surprised. _Does Bruce look funny?_ he wondered. He didn't think so, but it was Clint they were talking about.

Bruce wrinkled his nose. "Yes, but it was a really weird and a bit crazy. Do you think he's okay?"

Tony shrugged. "Not really." He stopped in front of Steve's room and opened the door. "Hey, Steve, you there?"

The two of them were surprised to see that Steve was still a kid.

Steve the Kid opened his eyes to see the two adults gawk at him in shock.

"Steve… You're still a kid?" Tony asked slowly.

The small captain stared at the two in what was unmistakably horror. "Why are the two of you so big? You're supposed to be kids! Right? Or am I supposed to be a grown-up, too? I know I used to be big and strong, but, but…" He looked confused, and on the verge of tears. "Did I sleep for years again? Please tell me I didn't!"

And then he started bawling, gripping the sky-blue teddy bear in his arms.

"Go get Clint," Tony whispered out of the corner of his mouth to Bruce.

Bruce nodded and hurried away.

The billionaire sat down next to the kid. "Hey, Steve. Is everything ok?"

Steve continued to sob. "I – I – "

Tony decided rubbing the kids back would be good. "Hey, kiddo, it's alright." _It feels weird to be calling the old man 'kiddo'._ "It's alright."

Clint entered the room, and relaxed when he saw Steve. "So, you're still a kid?"

Steve looked at Clint and saw that he hadn't changed. "You're still the same?" he said in wonder.

"Yep," Clint answered with a smile. "You haven't missed a day."

And somehow, the two of them managed to calm down, to Bruce and Tony's confusion.

* * *

As it turns out, Natasha, Loki, and Thor were all still children.

"Must be because we're 'normal'," Tony decided between gulps of coffee. "Steve and Natasha have the weird serum stuff, and Loki and Thor are practically immortal, right?"

"So you think this has to do with how we age," Bruce deadpanned.

"Yeah."

Clint nodded thoughtfully. "I guess that makes sense. Weird. I will never understand magic."

Tony and Bruce heartily agreed.

Just then, Thor entered the kitchen. "Good morning, mortals!"

Steve, who had been sitting with the other three at the kitchen table, spilled his Cheerios in surprise. "Thor!" he complained.

But the young demigod just strode into the kitchen, hunting for Poptarts. "I say!" he exclaimed in horror. "We have no more of the delicious tarts with the strawberry filling!"

Clint looked at Tony, who looked at Bruce. "What?" Bruce looked confused. And then mournful. "You want me to go out to the store to buy Poptarts," he realized sourly.

"Totally, dude," Tony told him, clapping a hand on his back.

"Don't say 'dude', it sounds wrong coming from you," Clint advised Tony.

Steve ignored the grown-ups, and concentrated on pouring his milk into the cereal.

There was a flash of green light, and Loki teleported into the kitchen. "Good morning, mortals!"

Steve spilled his milk, and tried to mop it up with a napkin, a scowl planted firmly on his face.

Loki strode over to his upset and Poptart-less not-brother. "Ha! You are upset because you have no more of your favored food, yes?"

Thor looked at his brother balefully. "What do you think?"

"I think – "

What Loki thought was never confirmed, because Natasha entered the kitchen in a huff.

She stormed over to the fridge, took out the box of frozen waffles, and slammed them into the toaster. The master spy furiously punched the button to the start the toaster and spun around to glare at the staring men. "What?!" she spat. "I'm having a bad morning!"

Loki burst out cackling. "Odin's beard, you look horrible!"

Bruce and Steve tried to hide their growing grins as Tony and Thor laughed heartily. Clint chuckled (in a very manly fashion!) as the red-head sent them the evil eye and swore in Russian.

Their laughing must have awoken Pepper, who entered the kitchen rubbing her eyes and wrapped in a pink bathrobe. "Why are you guys up so early? It's six in the morning!" she complained, only sending the men into a fit of laughter. She gave them all a withering look, until she realized that two of them were grown men.

"Tony?" she squeaked out in surprise.

"Hey, darling!" he said with a smile and a wink.

She ran over and practically leapt into his arms. "Thank goodness!" Pepper exclaimed, and kissed him.

"EW!" Steve, Thor, Loki, and Natasha complained.

* * *

**Tada! :D Hope you enjoyed this chapter!**

**Thank you for all the kind reviews! :)**

**- ImaginaryParchment**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers/Marvel! ) Or LEGOs...**

* * *

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Pepper decided to take a day off from work. "Maybe we can figure out what Loki did," she answered when asked why. "Besides, this needs celebrating!"

"Why?" asked Clint, confused. "I mean, only two of them grew up."

"Well, yes, but it's a start," Pepper said with a mild shrug.

Bruce looked thoughtful. "What if we just ask Loki what he did? Has anyone tried that yet?"

Clint, Pepper, and Tony looked at each other as if to say 'Why didn't we do that earlier?'

"Good point," Tony commented.

They sat in a comfortable silence for a minute.

"You know, my kitchen is still really messy," Pepper commented nonchalantly.

Clint, Tony, and Bruce tactfully avoided eye-contact.

* * *

"Ugh," Tony complained. "I can't believe I have to work! I can just get Dummy to do this for me."

"Suck it up, Tony. At least the kids are playing by themselves in the main room."

Bruce shrugged, and sprayed the kitchen floor with cleaning solution. "I guess Pepper just wants us to know the consequences of our actions." He suddenly felt uncomfortable, thinking of all the damage he'd caused as the Other Guy…

Clint must have sensed his discomfort (or maybe not, knowing him) and splashed Tony with water from his position at the sink. (Clint had been nominated Dish Washer.) "Haha! No suit to save you from water this time!"

Tony mock-glared at him, and tossed his scrubbing brush at the archer, who dodged it easily. "Stupid SHIELD agent!"

Bruce laughed and squirted the billionaire with the cleaning solution.

And soon enough, a massive cleaning war broke out.

* * *

Steve perked up, hearing all the noises from the other room, pausing in his building of the Empire State Building.

_"Ha! Take that, Clint! OW! BRUCE, do not throw that prickly thing at me!"_

_"Tony, it's called a brush."_

_"IT'S CALLED A DEATH TOOL!"_

Natasha peeked curiously out the door, observing the men fight and shout. Then she came back over to the boys, who were awaiting her verdict.

"They're weird," she told them in a matter-of-fact voice. "They're attempting to kill each other with cleaning supplies."

"Mortals," scoffed Loki. He went back to concentrating on building the Asgardian palace out of LEGOs.

"You all are quite strange," Thor agreed. "But a good strange." He, too, was building something Asgardian, but it wasn't nearly as detailed as his brother's.

In fact, Steve and Natasha weren't even sure what it was at all. Thor had never told them.

"Hey, um, Thor?" started Steve carefully. He didn't want to anger the older boy. "Uh… What are you building?"

Thor's eyes widened. "You mean that you cannot tell?"

Natasha and Steve shook their heads.

The Asgardian cleared his throat. "This, friends, is Avengers Tower!"

The three other kids stared. "No, that is not," Loki said bluntly, voicing all their opinions.

"IT IS TOO!" Thor cried, turning red in the face. (Rather like a tomato.) "THIS IS OBVIOUSLY AVENGERS TOWER!"

Loki eyed the rainbow thing skeptically. "That looks kind of like the Rainbow Bridge. If you squint."

"DO NOT QUESTION MY ARTISTIC ABILITY!"

Steve looked worried. "Thor, settle down, ok? Take it easy."

Natasha nodded ferverently. "Remember, if we fight, Clint said he would make us wear yucky clothes." She shuddered. "He said I'd have to wear a _dress_."

The others looked sympathetic. "I am deeply sorry, Ms. Romanov," Loki offered, looking sincere.

"Did he mention what we have to wear?" Steve asked, frowning slightly.

The girl looked left and right, before lowering her voice and whispering, "He said that he'd make you guys wear Hawkeye t-shirts."

Thor looked horrified. "Kind lady, do you mean to tell us that Friend Clint would be forcing us to wear the clothes with his image on them?"

The red-head nodded gravely.

Just then, Pepper poked her head into the room. "Hi, kids!"

"HI!"

She grinned and plopped down on the ground next to them. "What are you building?"

"The Empire State."

"Asgard."

"A horse." (At this, the boys peered at her building, which did in fact look like a black horse.)

"STARK TOWER!"

The older woman nodded, smiled, and said, "Yes, I can see that. All of your LEGO structures look beautiful."

The kids all beamed proudly. _She's lying through her teeth about Thor's_, Loki thought.

"Did you know Clint, Bruce, and Tony are fighting in the next room?" Loki asked, almost eagerly.

Pepper snorted. "I could hear them from all the way across the building. They're not exactly quiet." Then she saw the look Loki was giving her. "I'll make them clean up later. This is their idea of stress-relief."

* * *

**Sorry for a short chapter! :/**

**Thanks for all the reviews! :D**

**- ImaginaryParchment**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I don't own "The Sword in the Stone" (which was the inspiration for the first part of this chappie), Marvel/The Avengers, or "Harry Potter". :)**

* * *

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

The men ended up having to clean the kitchen – again.

Clint stacked the plates in the cupboard. "Wish I had magic. It would make everything so much easier."

A certain billionaire froze. He turned around slowly, a suspicious grin spreading across his face. "_We_ don't have magic…"

Bruce seemed to understand where he was going. "No! Tony, that's a terrible idea!" he objected loudly, looking fearful. Once Tony Stark had an idea…

…things were sure to go wrong.

Tony laughed the scientist off. "No way, we're the Avengers, right? I think we can take on a whiny seven year-old."

Clint smirked. "C'mon, Bruce. We'll just give it a shot."

Bruce sighed wearily. "If you must… But remember, I had nothing to do with this." And with that being said, the doctor threw down his duster and left the two to their own devices.

Which was a bad idea.

* * *

"Look, Loki, all you've got to do is use some of your magic and BAM!" – Tony made a giant hand gesture that was probably supposed to be an explosion – "we've got a clean kitchen. Can you do that?"

The young Asgardian looked doubtful. "Are you sure that Miss Potts is okay with this? I do not want to face her wrath. She is quite the foe."

Clint looked left, then right. "Look kid, if you do it right now, she'll never have to know, and we'll keep it a secret."

"And if you get caught, we'll take most of the blame, 'kay?" Tony added.

Loki sighed. "Fine." He screwed up his face in concentration, and started muttering to himself under his breath.

As if with minds of their own, the dishes sparkled with green magic and became clean. In a single file, they floated into their correct places on the shelves.

"Kind of reminds you of _The Sword in the Stone_, am I right, Clint?"

"What the heck is that?"

"Never mind."

Loki flicked his wrist, and the mop began swirling across the dark tiles. A few rags cleaned down the table as the crumbs were dusted away.

"What did I tell you?" Tony said to Clint triumphantly. "Greatest idea ever, am I right?"

But the archer had turned ashen, staring dumbly behind Tony.

Fearing the worst, the billionaire turned to face a _very_ angry Pepper Potts. "Hi, Pepper," he greeted her weakly.

Loki turned around as well, but didn't look surprised. "Hello! As you can see, this was all Tony and Clint. They forced me to. I did not do this of my own free will. So, I shall take my leave–"

"Stay where you are, Loki."

"_Dang it_."

"Care to explain, Tony dear?" Pepper asked sweetly.

"Um…"

She gave the three of them a sharp look. "All of you. Go sit in the corner and think about what you've done."

Tony, Clint, and Loki trudged over grudgingly to the corner of the (now clean) kitchen and slumped against the wall.

Pepper glared at them before departing the kitchen.

"I bet it was Bruce," Clint said glumly.

Tony frowned. "He was probably jealous that I had a good idea."

"Mortals are annoying," Loki grumbled.

* * *

"_Steve_," Thor whined. "Come play with me, friend!"

"Sorry, Thor," Steve told him apologetically. "I want to read right now."

Thor trudged over to Steve's bed and lifted himself on it. "What are you reading? It looks so dull."

"It's called Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone. Bruce recommended it."

Thor squinted at the colorful book cover. "It's so thick! Does it have any pictures?"

"Not all thick books have pictures, you know," Steve replied, trying to concentrate on his book.

The Asgardian crinkled his nose, looking mildly upset. "But…that's so boring."

"No, it's not!" the captain insisted, looking up from his book for the first time. "It's got magic, and wizards, and strange creatures–"

Thor looked interested now. "You say it has magic and wizards?"

"Yes," Steve said with a 'hmph'.

"LOKI WOULD LOVE THIS!" Thor shouted happily, snatching it from Steve's hands and charging to the kitchen.

"Thor!" Steve cried helplessly. Without his old strength, he'd never be able to catch up with the other blond.

Wait, what?

Steve shook his head, as if trying to clear it.

_That was strange._

* * *

**So... Chapter Fifteen. Tony has such wonderful ideas, it's astounding. ;D**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews/favorites/follows! They're very much appreciated! :D**

**- ImaginaryParchment**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: Of course, I do not own the Avengers/Marvel, or "Harry Potter". ;)**

* * *

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Clint and Tony burst out laughing once Pepper left the room. "I can't believe she's giving us a time-out!" Tony cried, wiping tears from his eyes.

His friend doubled-over from laughing too hard and clutched his stomach. "And for cleaning up! How weird is that?"

Loki gave his companions a strange look. _Midgardians are surely the oddest of all the Nine Realms' dwellers_, he thought, thinking of the events of the past few days.

"Well," started Loki cautiously. "I think I'll be leaving now…" His form began to flicker in green before he quickly faded from view.

"LOKI!" Tony shouted, upset that the pipsqueak could get off so easily. He got up, about ready to punch the living daylights out of a patch of air, before Clint pulled him back down.

"We promised he'd be let off easy, remember?"

Tony huffed, but flopped back down and crossed his arms in defiance. "Stupid Asgardian. First he tries to take over New York, and now he cheats."

Clint laughed. "Do you realize how lame that sounds?"

"Hey!" Tony complained, punching the archer jokingly.

They sat in silence before Tony sighed.

"What?"

"Nothing, Clint. It's just that, I kinda miss being a kid."

Clint looked over at him, looking mildly surprised. "Really? Wasn't it annoying being that short and beard-less?"

The other Avenger shrugged. "Not really. It was just _fun_ because I didn't have any responsibilities… I could backtalk everyone all day… I could watch a girly princess movie and no one doubted my manliness…"

Suddenly, Clint became as white as a sheet. He groaned, and put his head in his hands. "Speaking of responsibilities…"

Tony was confused. "What?"

"I still have to teach the other kids."

"_Oh_."

"And you're going to help me."

"No way! What the he–!"

"Don't swear in front of the kids, Tony!" Clint yelped, reaching over to cover Tony's mouth.

Tony swatted the hand away. "I thought you were fun," he whined.

Clint scowled. "I am fun! But I also care about the kids, you know."

"They're not even here! There's no way they can hear us!" (Tony glanced around the room to check. Luckily, no one appeared to be there.)

"You realize Loki and Natasha are on the same team, right?"

Tony looked like a light bulb had just went _ding!_ above his head. "Ah… I see your concern, dude."

Clint nodded slowly. "Yeah. Good." He settled back down in front of the wall, leaning back against it and closing his eyes. "You know, I think I'm gonna leave now."

"That's a good idea."

The two stood up and stretched. Shaking hands solemnly, they wished each other good luck in evading Pepper Potts.

And soon enough, the two grown men were gone from the kitchen.

* * *

Thor raced around the house, clutching the magical book that would surely make Loki happy. "LOKI!" he shouted, checking in every room. "LOKI! WHERE ARE YOU?"

Finally, after a quarter-hour of searching, Thor began to get tired. "Loki? Loki? Loki! Loki?"

"Fine, fine!" Loki materialized in front of Thor. "Tada! Now, what do you want?" Thor noticed that he looked very annoyed.

"Why are you annoyed, brother? Have I done something upsetting?" Thor didn't think he did, but knowing Loki, one could never know.

Loki stamped his foot. "I was hiding from Miss Potts! And then you go bumbling around this building like a chicken with its head chopped off, bellowing my name!"

"Oh. Sorry." Thor wondered if he should still give his brother the book.

"Sorry doesn't cut it!" Loki shrieked, stamping his foot again. "I swear, if we get caught–"

A certain archer rounded the corner just that moment, cutting off Loki. "Hey, kids," he said, nodding in greeting.

Loki gave him a look. "Aren't you supposed to be in a corner?"

"You are, too," Clint countered.

"That is true," Loki admitted.

The three stared at each other, not sure of what to do. "Um…" Thor looked uncomfortable. "Loki, I got you a book."

The archer glanced at the book, looked away, looked back, and freaked out. "Is that Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone?" Clint's eyes very nearly popped out of his head. "Wow! I love that book! They made a movie of it, too!" He turned to Loki. "You _have_ to read it! Kid, it's so good, I can't even explain…" He trailed off, realizing Loki looked doubtful.

"It's just a book. With useless information." The kid crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow as if to say, _That's right, I just said that._

"But- but-" Clint looked wounded.

"Good bye." And with that, Loki teleported away to avoid confrontation.

"Thor!" Steve panted, jogging down the hallway to where Thor and Clint were standing, staring at the spot where the mischievous child had been standing. "Thor, give me my book back!"

Clint turned to face Steve, eyes bugged in excitement. "You're reading Harry Potter?"

"Um, yes?"

"Oh my Merlin! That is just brilliant!" Clint then proceeded to tell Steve very rapidly about the – and I quote – "true brilliant-ness of Harry Potter".

Poor Steve was so confused. He didn't know it was _that_ good.

* * *

**Bonjour! :D**

**I'm really sorry these chapters are so short; I don't really have a lot of time to write, and fanfiction is more of a hobby. :)**

**Thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews!**

**- Imaginary Parchment**


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel/the Avengers. :)**

* * *

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

The next morning, Tony walked over to Thor and Loki's room. "**SCHOOL**!" he shouted, extra-loudly. He still wasn't happy that Loki could just teleport out of a time-out.

"Shut up," Loki muttered into his pillow, feeling exhausted. Yesterday, he had teleported so many times that he now had a head-ache. Kind of like what Thor would get the morning after drinking too much ale.

Wait – what? Thor is too young to drink ale, right?

Loki shook his head, trying to clear it. So many conflicting memories had come on recently…

Tony jumped on Loki's small bed and shook the little boy. "**WAKE UP! WAKE UP!**" he chanted, smirking all the while.

Loki groaned. "Get out, stupid mortal!"

The billionaire rolled his eyes. "Whatever. I'm going to go wake up the captain now, 'kay?"

"GO AWAY!"

Tony scoffed and walked out the door. Finding Steve's bedroom, he banged open the door and stuck his head in…

…to find that Steve was an adult now.

Tony stifled a surprised scream (which he was sure would have been a very deep and not high-pitched scream). "Clint!" he whisper-shouted down the hallway. No one came.

Tony ran over to Clint as quietly as he could. _Clint! _he mouthed to the archer, who was currently sitting at the dining table.

"What?" asked Clint, giving him a 'this better be important' type of look.

"Dude, Steve is an adult now."

"_Oh_. Ah. I see." Clint stood up and walked quickly over to where Tony was. "Um, so now what?"

Tony scratched his beard. "Uh…"

The two men looked at each other for a while. "I guess we just…wake them up?" Clint suggested, looking nervous.

"Together?"

"Together," Clint replied solemnly. The two men shook hands, then walked slowly over to their team mate's room.

"Hey, Steve?" Tony called out hesitantly. "Do you want to maybe, uh, wake up? Look in a mirror or something?"

Steve opened his eyes and looked confused for a moment. "Wait, what? Where am I?" He shut his eyes tightly, and after a second, opened them slowly. "Oh. Loki…"

"Yeah, he basically turned us into kids and you and Natasha were still kids with Thor and Loki when Bruce and I turned back and we had to go to school but it was really fun and the kitchen was messy–"

"You're rambling, Tony." Steve rubbed the back of his neck and cracked the two other men an unsure smile.

"Oh, yeah, guess I am," Tony replied with a small laugh. "Great to have you back, Capsicle."

Steve sighed, but with a grin. "Thanks. I think."

Clint nodded. "Yeah. You know, we should probably go and wake up Natasha…"

Tony agreed, and the two set off down the hall.

"Hey, Nat, you there?" Clint asked loudly outside Natasha's door.

Natasha opened the door, and as with Steve, she was an adult. "Hey," she said with a nod to Clint.

Clint smiled. "Hey."

Tony stood there awkwardly. "Um… I think I'll be leaving now…"

The billionaire left the two SHIELD agents talking quietly with each other in their creepy-as-heck way. There was really no way to describe it.

Tony shrugged. Eh. Leave the two at it, they'll be fine.

He peeked in the next room. "Pepper, you awake?"

"Yes, and I'm over here." Tony turned around to find his love grinning and shaking her head.

"Morning, Pepper!" Tony sang as he gave her a hug. "Guess what!"

"What?"

"Steve and Nat are big again!"

Pepper's eyes widened. "Oh, wow! That's wonderful!" She pulled out of the hug. "I should go say hello."

Tony let go. "Sure, you go do that. I'll make some coffee or something, ok?"

"Sure," Pepper replied quickly before heading down the hallway for Steve's room.

Tony stood in the hallway by himself, when suddenly, he felt a small hand tug at his shirt. "Hey, mortal!" came a familiar – and increasingly annoying – voice. "I want to know how to make your Midgardian delicacy called coffee."

Tony looked at Loki, surprised. "Why? Wait, let me guess, you heard Thor talking about how great it is."

The kid shrugged. "Maybe."

Tony gave him a long, hard look. "Fine. Change into regular clothes first. Then we'll see…" Tony trailed off, noting that the green-clad mischief maker had already "magicked" himself a set of normal clothes (that strongly resembled his old Reindeer Games costume). "Never mind."

"So," the trickser started, swinging his arms for the fun of it. "What does this _coffee _taste like? All Thor would say is that it tastes like Valhalla."

Tony snorted. "I wouldn't say it tastes like heaven, but I suppose it's pretty good. Gives you energy, that's for sure."

"Oh." Loki stopped in front of the kitchen, blinking.

Tony gaped. "Wow, did someone actually clean the kitchen?"

The kid turned to him. "It was not me, I swear it." He thought for a moment. "Perhaps Miss Potts?"

The billionaire knew somehow that that was probably the case. "Hm. I think you're right."

"Eh." Loki walked into the kitchen confidently, and opened all the drawers. "Cool, you have a drawer filled entirely with knives?"

"AH!" Tony dived for the kid and tackled him away from the drawer. "We are NOT arming you with anything! Get away from the knives!"

Loki squirmed underneath the surprisingly heavy man. "Get off me, stupid mortal!"

Tony rolled off of him and burst out laughing.

Loki stared at the adult. "Are you feeling alright?" he inquired, hesitantly.

"Yes…" He began laughing again. "It's just that…I tackled an alien…without my… suit!" Tony kept laughing around, rolling around on the tiles.

"Um… Are we still going to make coffee?"

Tony tried to calm down. "Yeah, yeah, don't worry…" He chuckled at bit more before finally regaining control of himself. "Ok, ok. So, uh, get out the beans."

Obeying the experienced Master of Coffee (as Tony was fondly referring to himself), Loki found the canister of French Vanilla coffee beans. "Here," he said as he tossed them to Tony.

Tony dumped a good measure of it into the coffee maker, added water, and pressed the 'on' button. "Done!" he exclaimed, dusting off his hands.

Loki stared at him. "That's…it?"

"Yep! Just wait until you drink it," Tony told him with a wink.

* * *

**So sorry! I meant to update yesterday...but then I watched the newest "Once Upon a Time" episode. Which was amazing. ;)**

**Also, I really need to stop reading depressing fan fictions... :(**

**I can't thank you all enough for reviewing! I would be absolutely, positively ecstatic if we could reach 100 reviews...so if you have the time, could you make my wish come true? ;D (Wow, that didn't sound dramatic at all...)**

**- ImaginaryParchment**

**PS: Thank you to everyone who took the time to take the poll I put up on my profile!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel/the Avengers. :)**

* * *

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Loki stared at Tony, watching him complete the simple steps to coffee-bliss. "That's…it?"

"Yep! Just wait until you drink it," Tony replied with a wink and a grin.

The two sat at the kitchen table in silence while they waited for the coffee to finish.

Tony decided to ask something that had been bothering him for a while, since no one else was around. Natasha and Clint were probably talking in really, really soft voices (must be painful) and Pepper was probably chatting Steve's poor arm off.

"Loki, do you remember New York?"

"New York…? Oh, you mean this Midgardian village."

"Hey!" Tony interjected, feeling rather miffed.

Loki shrugged. "Well, I've never been here before. Why?"

Tony shook his head. "It's nothing. Are you sure you've never been here before?"

Loki looked upset. "Why? Do you think I have? Why would I ever decide to come to this uncivilized realm?"

_You'd be surprised, _Tony thought warily. "Forget it."

Suddenly, the coffee maker's alarm set off. Loki put his hand over his ears, wincing at the sudden noise.

"Coffee's ready!" Tony sang. He took out the kettle and poured some of the dark liquid in two mugs. "Hey, Loki, do you like sugar? Milk?"

Loki thought about it for a bit. "Um… More sugar than milk, but not a lot of both."

Tony sighed. "Dude, you're going to have to be more specific. I'm no miracle worker." He paused. "Never mind, I am kind of a miracle worker," he told the kid with exaggerated pride.

The Asgardian rolled his eyes. "Fine. I'll just do it myself." And with that, he materialized next to Tony. "So, where's the milk?"

Tony jumped. "Stop with the freaky teleportation!"

Loki just gave him a Cheshire Cat smile.

And then Thor barreled through the door. "FRIENDS! I SMELL THE BEAUTIFUL AROMA OF COFFEE! CAN THIS BE TRUE?!"

Loki turned to Tony. Tony looked back at Loki, shrugging. "Yes, we made coffee," Loki told him.

Thor looked beyond delighted. "Might I try some?"

Tony nodded slowly. "I suppose… I can't really stop you…"

Thor grabbed the coffee kettle and poured it into a large mug so quickly that Loki was sure he'd drop everything. Then he dumped at least half of the sugar they had into his mug, and poured in a waterfall of milk.

"YES!" Thor cried happily, downing half his mug with one gulp. His eyes lit up with a glowing happiness one might get when you've received one million dollars. "ODIN'S BEARD, IT'S AS WONDERFUL AS I REMEMBER!"

Loki cautiously took a sip from his own mug. He closed his eyes.

"Well?" Tony prompted, waiting impatiently for his reaction. "Do you like it?"

Loki's eyes popped open. "It's amazing!" He quickly downed the rest of it, causing Thor to cheer.

"MORE!" Thor shouted happily.

"MORE!" Loki crowed in agreement.

They began to pour more coffee into each other's mugs, reminding Tony of the March Hare and Mad Hatter.

Which one was which, he didn't know.

* * *

Pepper smiled at Steve. "You were so cute as a kid."

Steve turned as red as a tomato. "Oh, erm, thanks."

"You were one of the better behaved ones," she noted thoughtfully. "You didn't really give Clint and I any trouble." Pepper's smile widened. "Thanks."

"Um, you're welcome…" Steve said, not really sure what else to say.

There was a crash from the kitchen, and the two adults heard a high scream.

Steve looked surprised. "Was that Natasha?" When he received no answer from Pepper, he charged towards the kitchen – the source of the sound.

What he found there was quite shocking – not only was the kitchen in shambles, but little Thor and little Loki were giggling like fiends. And Tony was the source of the scream (the kids had dropped a large pot), but that wasn't too surprising, seeing that it _was_ Tony, after all.

"Guys?" Steve asked loudly, somewhat frightened. "What's going on?"

Tony looked at him, regret showing all over his face. "I gave them coffee," he replied simply. "Quite possibly the worst choice I've made in a long time."

Clint and Natasha walked into the kitchen from the opposite door and took in the scene before them. "Why would you give them coffee?" Clint asked, horrified. "They're only seven! And Thor has way too much energy already, and who knows what Loki can do with too much sugar!"

Pepper came up behind Steve, looking upset. "I just cleaned the kitchen!"

"Get Dummy to do it next time," Tony offered Pepper.

Loki and Thor began tossing handfuls of sugar at each other. "DIE!" Thor shrieked.

"NO, YOU DIE!" Loki tossed half of the sugar at his not-brother, which turned into snow on impact. "HAHA!"

"No fair!" Thor wailed, flailing his arms. "No magic; that's cheating!"

Loki merely cackled, and flung more sugar-snow at Thor.

Tony turned to the rest of the team, who appeared to have no clue as to what to do next. "Anyone want to join in?"

* * *

**I would probably join in. XD**

**Anyways... I'm not an expert on coffee, so I made the coffee-making portion as vaguely detailed as possible. Sorry. ;)**

**Thank you for the time you take to review! **

**- ImaginaryParchment**


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